Monday, January 11, 2010

Why Worry

So, I haven't posted since Thursday.  That worries me.  Good bloggers schedule posts for times such as these, so that when life happens or gets in the way, blog posts go as scheduled.  Not for me apparently and that worries me.  These of course are minor in the grand scheme of things, but I think I worry too much and that worries me.  See...a little obsessive right?

They say, "don't worry, be happy."  If only it worked that way.  I worry about things that don't happen, things that could happen, might happen, what name it. Did I remember to turn the stove off, did I unplug the iron, did I turn off the water outside?

This weekend it froze in Conroe, TX; 15 degrees to be exact.  It stayed below freezing until about noon on Friday, then back down to 15 Friday night, 17 Saturday night, and then 21 last night.  I worried about the pipes freezing.  Should we leave water dripping, why didn't we wrap the pipes, will the horses be okay, why won't the dog come in out of the cold, etc?  My husband didn't seem to be bothered by any of it at all.  Of course, I worry in silence.  Just like the worrying I did at the deer lease that caused me to have the anxiety attack and end up in the emergency room New Year's Eve, but that's another story.

Well, this is a busy week for me with testing at school, our buyer's group's auction on Wednesday, that I'm in charge of, meetings, and the like.  I've worried about being able to get it all done, to give 100% to everything.  I didn't need what happened this evening, but life has a way of making you stop.

When we drove the truck on Friday night, it was making some weird noises and acting a little funny, but we chalked it up to the cold weather.  My truck didn't move for the rest of the weekend, until this morning.  I made it to work, no problem.  So, on to my meeting in Houston I went after school.  Needless to say, I didn't make it to my meeting.  Less than halfway there, the engine started making strange noises and the oil light came on with an obsessive beeping.  Enter hubby to the rescue.  It just needs oil, he thinks, so we drive the short distance to the auto parts.  Oil's in, so we head home.  I didn't make it very far before the light and beeping begin again.  I tell you the beeping is annoying, so hubby and I switched trucks.  Long story short, we were able to get the truck home, but now I have a whole new set of worries.  What's wrong with the truck, what's it going to cost to fix it, how am I going to get everything done with us sharing a truck, how long will it be down, etc.?

Why am I telling you this?  It is what makes me me.  I worry.  It's just who I am.  Yes, I'm a book blogger, but who am I?  Do you want to know more about me?  Well, now you know a little more.  Will my stats go down because I don't post every day?  Will you keep coming back to read what little ol' me has to say?  I worry about that.  I shouldn't be so obsessive about my stats, but I am.  I quit letting it bother me that I'm not on Twitter ALL the time like I was before I started this job.  I should quit letting some of the rest of it bother me.  Go ahead, tell me. You know you want to.

If you're still reading, thank you.  Thank you for caring about me enough to stick with my rambling.  I know it's a break from bookish posts, but some times, such posts are necessary.  Back to the bookishness tomorrow.


bermudaonion said...

Oh, I'm a worrier, too, so I totally understand. I think it's part of being a female since we want everything to go smoothly. I hope things settle down for you soon.

Tricia said...

I'm still here and still reading. Sometimes we just can't make it all work, as hard as we try. Thanks for sharing and for sticking with it!

Brimful Curiosities said...

My book blog is a hobby. Nothing more. It shouldn't be a source of stress and when it gets to that point, sometimes a break is necessary. I wouldn't worry about the lack of posting. Sometimes life just intervenes.

The1stdaughter said...

I like to think I'm not a worrier, but if I'm being honest...I am. I think we all are in some way. And I totally get you on the checking the stove, locking the doors, etc. Can't help it, it's just life.

Just know that no matter how much or how little you post, you still have readers. Sometimes I think we all think we need to post so much and I really don't know if it's necessary. Sure, it helps all those statistics, but really, I want to read posts like this one. And reviews like this one. One's that you thought about and put your feelings into. Not some goop put together because you've felt pressured by the blogging gods into doing it.

So, take your time, and enjoy! It's a new year with new possibilities. Enjoy life! And we'll be here when you get here.

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